the Over-Apology . . .

His other thing is the over-apology. You know, he forgets one time to add someone to a group on a computer, and he proceeds to walk around and apologize to everyone in the building, even those who have no idea who he is or what he is talking about.

I haven't completely diagnosed this behavior yet - however, here's what I have determined:

- He apologizes to make himself look better, not out of sincerity. It's like my Mom making the "made from scratch" chocolate chip layered cake and then apologizing for using 1% milk instead of whole milk. She knows no-one cares. We're singing her praises no matter what. That's him - he apologizes for stuff he knows A) doesn't need to be apologized for, B) nobody cares about, C) that he's already fixed
- His constant apologies open the door for him, as a stand-up guy, to point out other peoples shortcomings. He can point out another engineer's mistake because, hey, he's always pointing his out. But you can rest assured that his were never as bad as this particular mistake, committed by someone who's "usually so reliable." This apology is done to cast doubt on another's abilities, while cementing his position as a stand-up guy
- He apologizes for other people's mistakes occassionally - this is also done to cement his position as a stand-up guy. It's like me apologizing to my wife for something her best friend said - she's still mad at the friend, and I don't really care, I'm just using this as an opportunity to elevate my position in her eyes, 'cause she knows I couldn't possibly have had anything to do with it. Better example - it's like me apologizing to my manager for our accounting department's mistake. He knows it's not my apology to give, but it assauges his ego to think that I "respect" him so much to apologize to him.

I hate playing games.